'a street is more spell binding because it is not his own, not private'
after my walks i write and make a rough map of my route...in black i note places and roads that i remember and then in red a draw the line of my walk.
My writings are influenced by what i was reading at the time - 'Paris peasant' a highly descriptive surrealist text by Louis argon. some extracts of mine;
'characters float by, hanging by shop windows, jogging or one of those fleshy faces crammed under the marque of a bistro'
'it crawled on its slimy belly out of the depths of the murky river and finally rested on its banks, hard stones and steps lying still'
'on the thick green carpet - a conveyor built of wide eyes and sneaky camera...outside the bees are buzzing on various tiers. decorations on a wedding cake. they perch on tip toes ready to lift of and skip along the rooftops that are laid out before them.'
when i walk i often reflect on the situation in relation to something i have researched...it usually occurs to me very naturally, like the walk is a form of selection, the circumstance i am in causes me to pick a certain aspect of my research and use the walk to investigate it further. for example...when i first walked without a map i discovered that i didn't feel lost. i had previously read Rebbecca Solnit's 'a Field guide to getting lost' which discusses many theories on being lost;
'leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. that's where the most important things come from, and where you will go.'
in this book she talks about a place in north central California where there is no left and right. the people describe their own bodies and cardinal directions in reference to the environment, so consequently the self only exists in reference to the rest of the world. my arm that is closest to that mountain.
'i do not feel lost even though i have been walking without a map. i would feel lost in an unchanging landscape - a desert, a stretch of emptiness. here i am constantly in relation to something else, i share this space with people, with buildings, with trees. the relationship i create as i breeze through this urban landscape keep me located - grounded - they pin me down to this city so i am never lost.'
on another walk i formed a reason for the walk 'i want to see the river', in the walk i lost myself..i forgot my reason...i got swept into the crowds and was then washed up by the river and remembered my reason for walking.
'if you set off on a derive in the right frame of mind, you will certainly wind up in the right place'
this experience reminded me of Virginia Woolf's essay 'street haunting' where she sets out into London in search for a pencil.
'on a fine evening between four and six, we shed the self our friends know us by and become part of a that vast republican army of anonymous trampers...one must, one always must, do something or another; it is not allowed to simply enjoy oneself. was is it for this reason that, some time ago, we fabricated the excuse, and invented the necessity of buying something? but what was it? ah, we remember, it was a pencil.'
here is another example of being lost, of losing oneself because nobody knows who you are. one of the glories of being part of the masses, you lose all responsibility, you become anonymous - and therefore you can become anyone.
after more time here i have begun to feel the labyrinthine construct of the city, it being centreless, and ultimately being lost in it. this happened in my latest walk - at the time i was doing a simultaneous derive with a friend in Memphis (i have done these with people in Portland and wellington also). i was uninspired and from recently having negative conversations about Paris being fake, heartless and imbalanced my thoughts were being echoed by the environment i was walking in. i had seen it all before, it had become familiar, and that felt sad. but on turning the corner i was meet by a bright yellow sign saying 'MEMPHIS' - the city does this, it has the capability to create what can only be described at the time as small miracles. you can sink until you think you are just about to hit the bottom and then it will spit out a lifeboat and you arrive at the surface again and for a short while you are safe. This experience reminded me of something John Berger wrote in 'about looking';'it is a question of contingencies overlapping. the events which take place in the field...acquire a special significance because they occur during the minute or two during which i am obliged to wait. it is as though these minutes fill a certain area of time which exactly fits the spatial area of the Field. time and space conjoin.'
other walking related issues i have strolled along is the tension between walking as pleasure or torture, as freedom or punishment. also urban planning, psycho geography, how place is organised so we never go beyond the unknown. also how walking develops a linear narrative that is real time, and then this in relation to film. also how the 'city' is a mysterious name given to a complex machine made of many systems, cogs, wires and by walking i occasionally get a glimpse of these inner workings, the living city beneath.
i have been documenting my walks in various ways, mainly maps, but also through writing..which then i write on postcards and send to my mum. i like to incorporate family into my practice, it has the feeling of two worlds colliding. also when family is present in my work i think it becomes more accessible, is immediately something that can people can relate to. i am aware the work i make has a domestic feel, usually through the materials i like to use, i think a family members presence adds to this. the sending of postcards also intrigues me, the image that you chose to send - particularly the image of Paris - i have been asking people about the image of Paris, why people come here, why is it attractive. these postcard images feel like another part of that ongoing conversation.
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